Societal "Norms"

Being a "human" in a society that expects you to be an "adult". In my opinion the two are very different from each other. I am definitely not one for societal norms. I have to tried to abide by them my entire life. Honestly it has never worked for me. My life has not allowed for the typical American culture of growing up. In the past I have tried my hardest to follow the "normal" path. Not once did it go the way I thought it should have. The most normal thing that has ever happened to me was graduating High School. But even then life didn't allow for me to stay in college for more than 72 hours. I barely even made it to my first class. No, life had something completely different planned for me. I look back on it now and think that if I would have known what was coming, I would have probably ended my life. I do not believe that ending it is the answer, but thats how severe the circumstances had been. Am I glad that I am alive and well? Of course! I thank my lucky stars for the space that I am in at this present moment. I have been blessed in more ways than one. It took a lot to get here, and when I say a lot, I mean it took every ounce of my being to even stay alive. For me to be alive and mentally sound right now is quite a miracle. I consider myself as being a miracle, and feel that I have been given a second chance at life. I am glad that I have gone through the things that I have gone through. They made me wake up real fast. They also required me to grow up at a rapid rate. I have better self awareness than most people in their 50s. And I credit that to the years and years of self work I have had to do. Whether I liked it or not, that was what I had to do, and is what I continue to do. The road of thy self is never a finished one. In a way that is terrifying, but also extremely exciting. I wonder where I would be if none of this had ever happened to me. Where would I be if I was able to stay in school, graduate college, moved out at 18, dated like a "normal" teenager, didn't have divorced parents, didn't have a mental illness. Would I have been better off? Or am I better off because I was not able to have all of those things? In a way I am almost grateful that I was given a "disease". It has made me so strong, so appreciative, and greatly compassionate. I know myself very well. I know what I do and do not want. I know the kind of people that I will allow in my life. I am aware of the things that I need and the things that I choose to avoid. I haven't gotten it all figured out, but I have a good idea of who I want to be, and how I want to be remembered when I do leave this world, hopefully at a very old age. I feel that I know more than your average 25 year old (almost 26). I am an old soul, and I have done nothing by the book, even though when I was younger, that was all I ever wanted. Now I am realizing that it may not be the case. Maybe I want a few normal things, but what is normal really? Why would we all strive to take the same path? How boring is that? There are so many different possibilities in the world. Why not explore them from all different avenues? I'm not saying the average path of life is a bad or boring thing. If you have gone to college, had a family, own a home, and have a great job, then that is amazing! You worked very hard for that and you should be given credit for putting in the time to achieve those things. But for me, I believe now that I was born a different kind of soul. I wasn't meant to arrive at societal norms in an ordinary fashion. When everyone veered right, I veered left. And might I say, its scary over here, but its also pretty damn great.