CAROUSEL

    The carousel of life just keeps on spinning, and I find myself here at this moment, not enthused, and used to the feeling of instability. Used to the mood swings, used to feeling one way one second, and completely the opposite the next. This is me. The more I go on with it, the more I accept it. What matters in the end is not how many mood swings I had, not what they were about, but how I handled them, and how I coped. Did I address them with grace and maturity? Did I try my very best? That's what truly matters. You wont look back at your life and only think about the circumstances of your life, but what kind of a person you were when you were going through them. How did I treat others? How did I treat myself? What did I do with my time despite the pain and suffering? What did I fill my days with? What kind of people did I spend my time with? Who's life did I touch? Who did I help? Who did I forgive? Who did I love? What did I do to be the best possible version of myself? Sure I was given this "disease". I was given these circumstances, but instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself, how am I going to make my situation the best that it can be? How will I most benefit from this? I want to be remembered by my family as strong, but graceful. I want stories to be told not just of tribulations, but how I endured my tribulations. What kind if person was I? How I helped others who I was experiencing life with. How you could always count on me as a human being, but also having the strength and boundaries to still have respect for myself. I want to be remembered fondly. The one who didn't just exist, but the one who lived! Who lived despite her circumstances. Who lived despite her hardship. Who lived solely for the purpose of living for the beauty of life. The one who lived, because she wanted to. And so she did.