Where is the Love?

    This past week, I have gone up and down with the craving that I just can't seem to yet quench. The craving for love. I crave for someone to hold me tight, to have my back no matter what, and to think I'm beautiful even when I'm in my sweatpants. I want a pure love. As pure as love can be. However that goes... Who knows.. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting to be loved like this. I almost feel like, I shouldn't be feeling that way, because I have a "disability". But then as I go back and read that sentence, I get mad at myself all over again, and I can only think then how wrong I really am. I kid myself into thinking that no one will ever love me, just for me, and not let the underline details get in the way. I won't lie, I get scared that there is no such person out there. And then I think, all of the self work that I have done in finding myself might be enough if no one were to fall in love with me. But there I go again! My emotional mind brings me down to thinking that people with disabilities can't be loved. And oh how false that is! Why wouldn't I give myself the satisfaction of taking a chance on someone? Why would I go and think that someone won't ever love me because I have Bipolar Disorder, OCD, and Panic Disorder? There are people with no legs or arms that find love! There are so many types of people who do love, and that are loved in return. So why doubt myself so much? It has almost been a year since I started this intense road of self discovery and growth. The strides that I have taken are nothing short of amazing! If you saw my soul a year ago, and you looked at it now, you wouldn't recognize it! I have never known myself so well in my entire life. I have never been this clear in knowing what I want in life. And to personally look back and see the things that I went through, the things that I have striven through, makes me realize how worthy of love I really am. If I can live through a year like this past one, I can live through anything! And I truly believe that. Even if I do question myself from time to time. But hey, look at that! I question myself, on love, on life, and on so many others things. If that doesn't make me normal than I don't know what will. I am just like everyone else. And just like everyone else, I will find love. He is out there somewhere. Wherever that is, I have no flipping clue. But I guess that's the beauty of it. If I have enough patience, it will eventually happen, and when it does, it will have been worth the wait. I am worthy of life. I am worthy of love. And in my eyes, I am nothing short of a miracle. I have a different ability, not a disability. And who I am as a human being, is one million times more than any disability in the world. Let that be a lesson to all of you girls out there with some sort of insecurity. You are worthy of love. You just wait and see. Love is coming for you. And I suppose that in the meantime, lets not worry. Lets date ourselves. Lets find out who we truly are. Lets get to know us and what we as women are truly capable of. One day we will catch the eye of someone, and we will be better for knowing ourselves when it does happen. To know your worth, solely for the benefit of you is the most beauty that I can think of. Knowing yourself. Now that is true love.